Beating doom and gloom during the holidays.

Beating doom and gloom during the holidays.

With the holidays here so many people find themselves in a holiday funk. The holidays sometimes mark the end of a tough year or we find ourselves reminiscing to a past era and people or places that were once in our lives. I know for me personally this Christmas season marks the end of a bitter sweet year. One where there were many losses and also one where the biggest shift and transformation in my life also took place. In the end this was a victorious year for me but I personally can’t wait for 2013. 

The New Year is setting up to be one of the best years ever for me. After feeling as though I had lost my entire life, personality, confidence and self-esteem at one point it’s definitely time to turn the page on 2012.

Yes! You read that right, I found myself early in 2012 in one of the ugliest places I have ever been. I never fantasized about death before ever until this time. It wasn’t that I had contemplated suicide but I found myself wondering if I died in a car wreck or crossing the street if things would just be better. Maybe the pain would stop or the frustration would end.

I hit rock bottom in a sense and no amount of positive thought or fight could get me out of the funk I was in. I hated so many things I had experienced in life; mostly the failures. I misconstrued this to mean that I was a failure. I thought of my kids thinking that they deserved a better Daddy, one that wasn’t a failure. Crazy stuff because honestly I am their hero but when we’re off emotionally we tend to tell ourselves all sorts of lies.

Ah……enough of that shit! Right??

2012 was also a year of self-realization that I was in control of many more things than I even knew. I was one decision away from the beginning of turning things around in so many areas. Decision is powerful but taking massive action starts the momentum. Momentum is needed to keep the ball rolling in the right direction based on where we want to go. We fail because we lack consistency.

Why do we lack consistency when it comes to making our lives what we want them to be? I believe some of the reasons are.

We lose energy

We lose motivation

We take the path of least resistance

We don’t know when to throw in the towel and do something different.

We link pain with making changes instead of focusing on the pleasure that will come in the long term.

We fail to break the limiting patterns.

We hate uncertainty and will often stay in the same place rather then throw all caution to the wind and make massive change.

You’re probably asking “What the heck does this have to do with the holiday blues Ernesto?” Well I know for some that the holidays represent the end of the year, another year of unfulfilled plans and hopes. For others the holiday season represents an idea. It’s tough when we dream of a season with family and with a significant other and due to circumstances our expectations aren’t reality. In our modern culture we have broken families and so many single parents. Not to mention that we could’ve experienced significant loss during the course of the year also and now were facing our first holiday without__________.

With that said the Holidays also represent an ending for those that find themselves with the holiday blues but interestingly enough the same holidays also represent a beginning. What is it the beginning of? This is where we have a choice, to Author the book or be an observer. We can create our lives or watch our lives unfold. 

Every holiday season will be unique, it is important to put the pieces in place as we begin to author a new story for 2013 and beyond. I am hopeful that when we look back from Christmas 2013 that we will remember Christmas 2012 as a mark for new beginnings. Yes my own circumstances for this Christmas season surely aren’t where I expected to find myself but at the same time I am so excited about where my life is headed going into the future. As I have seen so many areas of my life come together quickly I know that the other areas are about to burst at the seams with prosperity and happiness as I take steps to improve those as well.

In conclusion I would encourage anybody reading this that is blue to consider the following.

Take time in the next few days to reflect and accept whatever circumstance there is that you wish was different and making you blue. Once you have owned the past and accepted the circumstance its time to move forward, dream big and write a new story. Knowing and clearly defining what you want is step one. By doing this we establish a target to shoot at instead of using the ole’ trial and error method. An idea becomes a plan once it’s put on paper. Write out what you want your life to look like, describe it in writing. Be very specific. Once it’s written out were ready to evaluate the steps we can take immediately and steps that will follow after. The important thing is to gain momentum, the fear of the unknown is what keeps most people from diving in but soon with consistency the momentum builds and the process almost becomes effortless. 

Use this time of endings and beginnings to rewrite your story, set a time frame and get to work. Instead of focusing on what you don’t want put all your focus and energy on what you DO want. Kick start your new story now and get this thing rolling!.

Happy Holidays!

Be good to yourself!

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