As these summer months have come to a close I find myself feeling content and thankful. Content because I know what my personal masterpiece looks like and the legacy that I strive to leave behind when I’m gone. I know what model of a Father and though I’m not married currently I know what model of a husband I want to show to my children. Many years were spent randomly trying to find my way in life without really figuring out what I wanted or what I needed to be content and feel complete. It’s not that I have arrived because Lord knows I am a work in progress but I can’t emphasize enough the peace and clarity that comes with knowing where I want to go as I continue forward.
When many are transitioning from one story to another often there is an identity crisis that takes place. As an example- Kelly was a Regional Director for a marketing firm for many years, she was known and respected as a Leader and very staunch businesswomen that created new ways to turn over profits during the harsh recession over the past 7-8 years. She’s known by former employees as fair but firm, intelligent and bold. Kelly saved many jobs for her employees by creatively restructuring and diligently finding new ways to turn profits.
9 Months ago Kelly was experiencing emotional and physical fatigue and made a bold decision to leave her career. Realizing that by immersing herself in her career over the last ten years she really hadn’t given herself time to process and heal from a divorce and also the death of her Mother. Remarkably it took 8-10 years for everything to finally catch up.
During the first 45 days Kelly traveled and was able to rest both physically and emotionally but being the driven lady that she is after a brief reprieve she longed to be back in the mix, using her creativity and leadership skills. Knowing that the decision to leave her career was made to achieve different goals and “have a life outside her work”, Kelly had become torn because she had put her heart and soul into her career.
When I first met Kelly one of her first comments to me was “I don’t even know who I am at this point.” After 20 minutes of dialogue we discovered “She didn’t regret leaving her job but was struggling with her identity”. Her career met many of her basic needs. It gave her purpose, validation, accomplishment, focus, satisfaction and she used her role to serve many people as she made it personal when facing the challenge to keep employees working during a tough economy.
For the next few months Kelly worked feverishly to rediscover herself, her passions and establish new goals that validated and brought satisfaction for her efforts. Presently Kelly is building her very own independent consulting firm that assists women business leaders with leadership and strategy. She sets her own schedule and has designed her business so that she can consult from anywhere that has cell phone coverage and internet service which has allowed her to continue traveling and pursuing other areas of interest.
For the rest of us I’m sure there has been a time that something changed that left us in similar place questioning identity, purpose and struggling to find certainty.
For over a year now my journey has led me full circle in many ways as I find myself participating in activities that I enjoyed in the past. I rediscovered serenity that I found years ago in fly fishing and elk hunting, the meaning I found reading and really shifting focus to what brings me peace, satisfaction and validation. This summer I reached a benchmark that I had set for myself.
Though I haven’t been one to make many excuses I did justify certain circumstances based on some particular events that were out of my control. Last month while sitting in a gorgeous meadow in the middle of nowhere waiting for elk I had a moment of extreme clarity and realized it was time for a change in perspective. The words “It’s on me now” came to mind and I knew at that moment it was time to let go of the deepest and parts of the past that I still held onto. It took me returning to the things that I love to finally take the next step.
When we find ourselves in transition whether it would be career change, relocation, break up or divorce one of the best things we can do to find ourselves once again is to return to the things we love, return to the friends we love, return to the places we love. Once we have a pretty good idea of who we are nobody else can ever define us by their words or actions. Rediscovering your “MOJO” is about knowing who you are, where you are going and how you’re going to get there.
When rediscovering our MOJO (rediscovering ourselves) we need to ask questions that help us find and define who we are and where we are going in life.
What brings me peace and serenity?
What am I passionate about?
What is my purpose?
What are my greatest needs?
What are my greatest talents?
What brings me the greatest satisfaction and sense of accomplishment?
What kind of people do I want in my life?
Who can help?
Who am I? What makes me the person I am?
What does my masterpiece look like?
Lastly as we take responsibility for our own happiness and satisfaction we seek a life of wholeness within ourselves. No longer will we seek relationships, careers or material things in which to build our core foundations on instead we become whole, healthy and strong within ourselves realizing that we will have much more to give and we will rely less on the external for our core needs.
Yes you heard me right “It’s on me now”, and yes, “It’s on you also!”
My name is Ernie Garcia I am a Transition and Divorce Recovery Coach, I strategize with people that are relentlessly putting their lives back together with the purpose of emerging from a Life Change more empowered and stronger than ever!